Now, I think everyone that reads my blog (or has interacted with me for more than 10 minutes) would know that I'm not a girly girl.
At the same time, however, I enjoy my girly-guilty pleasures. I enjoy getting massages, my nails done, laying out on the beach, watching crappy girly shows on ABC and shopping for shoes. However, I hate Sex and the City. Let me tell you why:
* I hate how people think it's "empowering" for women. Since when does being a slut make you empowered? Doesn't that just make you a slut? Also, I've seen girls be like "I hate men, let's watch SATC!" Hey, hos, what do you think the show is about? Their lives COMPLETELY revolve around men. That's not empowering. That's not femanistic. If anything, it's degrading. Maybe these women would be successful if they didn't base all of their decision on whether or not Guy 145 wants to sleep with them. The whole premise of the show is to determine whether or not a woman can be fulfilled and happy without a man in her life [more Sex and The City philosophy spouted for the entirety of a half hour care ride]. Guess what they decide?
* Journalists are poor. As a journalist, I know EXACTLY how much a newspaper columnist makes in New York City. Hell, I KNOW some columnists who work in NYC. I can assure you that a) none of them have that nice of an apartment b) none of them can afford to even LIVE in the city and c) absolutely none of them can afford Manolo Blahniks. So, shut up SATC for even making girls believe this can happen.
* SATC fan: "It's just a show, so who cares if it's not realistic." Let me tell you why it matters. Girls, everywhere, are watching these shows and thinking it's OK. Thinking it's OK to sleep around with lots of guys, thinking it's OK to act the way these women act, thinking it's OK to put so much emphasis on what you wear or WHO you wear. All these "femanists" out there who hate that magazines are making little girls hate their bodies because models are unusually skinny should also hate SATC because of the same reason. No one looks like these women without pounds of Botox and millions of dollars to spend on "fashionable" name brands.
* People comparing every real-life experience to SATC. I hate when people are like "OMG, this is just like when Carrie/Samantha/Miranda/Charlotte did (fill in blank here with ridiculous, non-realistic endeavor). No. This is not like this. This is real. That is fake. That was probably funny, but is nothing like this. This. Is. Life. Quit living your life through a TV series and wishing you were like them.
* SATC fan: "But look at these women, Blair, they have careers and that's great!" Since when are we impressed by women having careers? I think that should be expected nowadays. Plus, none of the women works very hard to further their careers. They are more engrossed with sexual conquests while some characters obsess about marriage. SATC is not a true portrayal of liberated women who work 60-80 hours per week to get to the top.
* They had a great opportunity to ACTUALLY empower women. I know that it's not meant to portray real life but it think that it gives a false image of women who in real life would be more struggling to get by rather than making it big. And that it would be a much more empowering series if it showed what if really takes to go through life as an independent woman. Not to mention most of the women that I know that a independent by choice and have chosen don't have time to date as much or have the unreal amount of sex. Sure, this show would not have been as entertaining, but one could have at least touched on these themes and stressed those a little more with compliments of meetings between the ladies. IMO.
My main problem is not with adults watching these shows. One would think they are logical enough to know that these women should not be examples. I fear is when my 12-year-old cousin took a quiz on Facebook that said "Which SATC character are you?" My 12-year-old cousin should not a) be watching that show b) know what sex is and/or c) be modeling her life after ANY of these characters. Never. Never should that happen to my adorable 12-year-old cousin.
Anyway, you wanna watch the dumb thing, that's fine, but don't make me think I'm not a girl because I think it sucks.
Strawberry blue cornbread cobbler
2 weeks ago
5 comments:
Girl, I could not agree more. I personally have an anaphylactic-shock-level allergy to that much poor decision-making in one place.
The only character I even kind of respect on that show is Samantha, because while she sleeps around, she makes no bones about the fact that she actually doesn't care and it doesn't seem to be doing her any harm emotionally. The others sleep around, and then aaaaaagonize about it. Ugh. Doing things in the name of chasing happiness (like shopping to excess or sleeping around) is not empowering, it's sad. I'm not saying it's not a valid basis for a show, but that's not how it's taken - people see these women as, what, role models? In reality, I think they're cautionary tales. It's okay for women to relate to them, they just shouldn't try to be them. Upon reflection, I think maybe the fault is not in the show, but in the way people interpret it.
I still can't stand the dang thing, though. ;-)
Glad to hear I'm not alone. If I'm going to take an example of an empowered woman, Lauren, I would use you as an example! :)
I totally understand and agree with a lot of the criticisms you put forward. I think for me, though, I like the show because I can suspend reality about the NYC lifestyle they lead. Also the show was "liberating" because it was the first show to deal very VERY frankly with women's sexuality, and it made it finally okay for women to talk about sexual things. They had a forum now, and a way to start talking about it. It opened up a lot of dialogue. I don't mean that all women act like those four acted, because like you said that's totally not reflective of reality, but that those four women had to represent the gamut of women's sexual experiences, and that's why they all had so many male partners in the show. That said, I agree with you about how they seem to go through men like used tissues. I think the show might have been trying to do too many things at once -- it wanted to talk about many facets of sexuality, so it used lots of different men to explore the maximum number of scenarios, and it wanted to talk about relationships, which it sort of...didn't until later seasons, and it wanted to talk about enduring friendships among women, which I think it succeeded at doing, even though the friendship situations weren't always realistic. Then the show ceased to be about what it was originally about and became about something new, which I'm OK with.
I agree with Lauren that Samantha was the best thing about that show. She was the only truly liberated one -- she worked her ass off at her job, owned a company, she did exactly what she wanted without reference to anyone but herself, and she never did it for the man. The one time she does change herself for a man, it blows up in her face (for Richard Wright). Carrie is neurotic and Charlotte is obsessed with getting married. Miranda was basically the sarcastic anti-man until she met Steve. Each of the four women, I think, is meant to represent four facets of a woman: the crazy side, the romantic I-want-to-get-married side, the sarcastic, scared side, and the sexual side. And that's why it's so entertaining!
"Plus, none of the women works very hard to further their careers." <--That's true for Carrie and Charlotte, I think, but Samantha owns her own PR firm and Miranda works 60-hour weeks to become partner in her law firm. Those two at least do work really hard for what they have. They address her overworking in the show.
I think that, just like you said, you need to be an adult when you watch this show and approach it critically and in mind of how TV works and what they're trying to get across.
/way long comment :)
It wasn't too long. It raised good points. My worry with these shows is kids get them. Little girls are "looking up" to these women. We think we have a teenage pregnancy problem now?!? I mean, when my cousin turns into a 16-year-old (GOD FORBID) she might look back on this series and think that's "normal." It almost makes me wish they had some sort of disclaimer before the show, to warn the little girls that people do not function this way.
My problem with Miranda is the show demonized her for "working too hard." I work all the time and I don't think I'm a bitch. But that's what they made her seem like. And for Samantha, one could interpret that because she "worked so hard" she took it out in the bedroom. Like, instead of a healthy way of "recreational activity," she let men be her hobby. Very unhealthy.
Point being, if they wanted to demonstrate how a lady could have a job and be awesome, then maybe Samantha should have been the main character instead of Carrie. AND maybe, if you were right in this assumption, maybe the phrase that would come out of the show would be "successful like Samantha" instead of "sleeping around like Samantha."
Good points about Miranda being demonized for working too hard and Samantha taking it out in the bedroom -- I hadn't thought of it like that!
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